she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
