guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize