I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
