Already got asked if we're dating
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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