cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When are your genitals available?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
