She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
