I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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