Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
