so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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