All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
