If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
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