I have demons in me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
