She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize