so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
