No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
