He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize