I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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