I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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