people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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