don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize