I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize