I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
