p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
