grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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