So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
