I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
