I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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