im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
