She is in my trunk
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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