I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
