Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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