yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
