So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
