If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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