So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
