so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
