Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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