I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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