is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
