There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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