Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
