Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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