Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize