i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
