I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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