My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You took a bar mat shot.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
