I could make wine with my vomit
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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