she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We need to get me chipped asap
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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