my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
