so that wasnt chicken after all
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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