can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
