i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
