Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
