shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
