Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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