she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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