i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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